Being in a long distance relationship is a rollercoaster of emotions. Some days you will feel confident and others you will ask yourself why you are putting yourself through this hell. Here are some things nobody told us about being in a long distance relationship.
It’s okay to fight
Just like every other relationship, having fights is inevitable. First thing you need to understand is that you are two different people with two different minds. No one will ever think, feel or be the exact same at all times. More important is how you deal with these differences in order to resolve issues that arise from them. True love is about trying to understand each other while looking for a way to make both parties satisfied.
It can be pretty expensive
A long distance relationship can be expensive. If it aren’t the airplane tickets to see each other, it can be the international calls or data. Wifi can make your life a whole lot easier, but do expect extra charges somewhere else, for example, when you want to surprise each other with gifts. However, nothing beats the opportunity to see each other in person, so most people will encounter the price of plane tickets once in their lifetime if they are in a long distance relationship.
A lot of times being in an ldr will bring the concept of time difference with it. In our case, we had 5 hours difference. Even though it is not as bad as some have, we did spend many sleepless nights on video calls and phone calls just so that we could make most of the time. People will not always be supportive Not everyone will be understanding and supportive of your relationship. Ignore bad comments. Remember: people will always find a negative thing to say about your relationship if they want to. Put them aside and focus on the good ones.
You can become jealous for small stupid things. Even the strongest people may have a moment where they find themselves acting irrationally due to jealousy. After all, you are thousands of miles away and it’s difficult to do something if you feel like this. Be open about it but not in a judgemental way. Most of the times you are the one that is struggling without your partner giving you any reason to be fearful for something.
The lack of physical contact is hard
It can be tough having a lack of physical contact. This is one of the biggest struggles people will have in a long distance relationship. To empathize is different from sympathizing. What I mean with this is that it may be something you have heard, but it won’t truly mean something until you experience it yourself. Because of that I decided to put it in this list regardless. You don’t always need to speak in order to have a good time with your partner and a desire for affection and closeness is in our DNA, so it’s no surprise it’ll hit you on such a fundamental level. Walking hand in hand, cuddles, sex and much more is vital. Try to alleviate the burden in a fun way together with your partner. Not only will you try and find something to temporarily fill that void, but humour, or something fun, usually brightens the situation and can make you laugh about it, which in return will help you feel better.
Misunderstandings will happen
Phone calls played a big role in this with us. Not seeing a facial expression was part of misunderstanding for us. After this we learned to always discuss important matters via video calls. The majority of our communication is through body language. If you have something important to discuss make sure you have the full picture, as to avoid any unnecessary miscommunication.
It's all worth it
Even though this list may seem very serious, in the end it is all worth it! That is something most people won’t tell you either because frankly, they decide to quit too soon. If you are able to survive the long distance there is a big chance that your relationship is so strong it will survive everything else! It may not be for the faint of heart, but the reward at the end is inexplicably good.
What is something you wish you knew before starting your long distance relationship?