Long distance relationships are extremely hard. From the beginning where you decide to be a long distance couple the challenges will begin. How often can we visit each other? How often should we video call each other? Can we really make this work? Prepare yourself by the overwhelming flow of emotions by educating yourself what you can expect to happen, so you won’t be surprised by it. These are the four stages we experienced while being in a long distance:
This is the first stage before you are actually separated. Chances are you are currently experiencing this while reading this, as that was probably the reason you came here in the first place. Contemplating whether you are actually doing this and how it would even work out can be an overwhelming experience. Being sad, overwhelmed and frustrated is common because it’s hard to do know what the future will bring.
Sad and loneliness
It has truly happened….you said goodbye and are separated now. You partner has left you or you have left them. You are going back home and the reality hits you that you guys are really separated. This feeling sadness will kick in fast and will remain there for some time. You can alleviate these feelings by staying busy, such as hanging out with your closest friends or spending time on your hobby. Do keep in mind that the first couple of days might still be rough, despite any remedies you might use.
This is the moment when you are getting used to being apart. You get into a normal routine but you’ll always be a little depressed because you miss that special person. Some people can handle this better than others, but feeling depressed is not an uncommon feeling. It may come in waves where it can range from a background nuisance to a full breakdown. Know that in times like these you can always talk to your partner as they understand you like no other. If they can’t talk at that time there will always be a good friend standing by.
In between all these emotions you’ll find a way to manage this. You finally learn how to live with the fact that you are in a long distance relationship. At this point, it is usually clear how determined and invested both parties are in the LDR. You can see it is working and that it is worth the eventual promise of closing the distance. Yes, you’ll have some sadness still but the finish is much more realistic and closer to reach in your mind.
We ended up doing a bit more than 2 years of long distance. It was really challenging, but we also learned so much about each other. It made our relationship so much stronger compared to if we had not been through it.
In what stage are you now?