One question keeps getting asked to us: “What are the things we need to know before moving in together?” As you guys know we moved in together just over 3 years ago. We were 23 and we had never lived with a partner before.
We had many things prepared in our minds but reality showed that we had not taken everything in consideration. We had some challenges along the way, but we were able to overcome these and grow out even stronger. These are the things that are important to discuss and to think about if you are planning to move in together:
Of course if you are planning to move in together you will need a place to do this. Begin to browse around the area where you want to live and look what the prices are. If you are planning to move to another city or country ask for help if you have family or friends there. Stick to a budget you can afford and compromise if needed.
Discuss your financial status, full disclosure! Talk about your income, debts and expenses. It is important to know this before moving in together. Make a budget and discuss how you are planning to pay for your expenses, especially reoccurring ones. We fortunately got this big one right from the beginning. It has proven to be very valuable throughout our time here as we were able to prepare and weather the storms thrown at us. Do not withhold information for any reason. Do not be ashamed or think you can resolve it without informing your partner. This is an integral part of our lives and you need to work as a team, particularly on this one.
Job or school
Are your goals to work or to go to school? Discuss what the short term plans are regarding this. What type of jobs are you planning to get, how many hours are you planning to work? These are all important aspects to discuss, as it will shape the type of life you will be able to have upon arrival and possibly further down the line. This one ties in closely with your financial situation, as a job is the main source of income for many.
Marriage and kids
Moving in together is a big step in a relationship. This is were things are getting serious and were expectations might come in place. Before moving in together is the best moment to discuss how you see the relationship growing. If you know you don't want to get married or if you are not sure whether to have kids be honest. It's important to be honest about these things otherwise they can become a problem down the road in your relationship.
Do you have a pet that you are planning to take with you when you move together? Or are you hoping to get a pet upon arrival? It could make a difference in what type of home you want to search for if you plan to have a pet. In addition, you have to be sure your partner is actually into animals.
Your partner may have allergies that you might not know about. This is important because everybody needs to be safe in their own home. Certain foods may not be taken into the house, or certain animals you won’t be able to keep as pets because they’ll have a severe reaction to them. Health is not something to toy around with and you should be able to share this with your partner, also in the case of an emergency, they will be able to assist you.
Almost every person has short-term and long-term goals. Discuss these together and see if your goals match. The whole point of living together is to grow together. Share and experience life to the fullest. For this to work you will need to have goals that align at least to an extent. If these do not match discuss them and look for common ground. If not properly discussed it may leave someone feeling lost or left behind in the relationship, instead of growing together to the best of each other’s potential.
Are you guys ready to move in together?